Top 5 scuze pe care le folosim ca sa ne autosabotam

Pentru cei care mai cred in capacitatile lor si in autodezvoltare, postez aici un articol care va poate ajuta sa va automotivati:

'You could say that a big part of my job description as a coach is to help others see the silly excuses they use to sabotage their lives and to smash them in their heads with those excuses.

I"™m on a crusade to help people get rid of their excuses and take their lives to the next level.

This is because I find that one can"™t get any effective self-improvement work done with themselves until they are rid of their mental blocks. Sometimes, getting rid of those mental road blocks is the only truly important self-improvement work that needs to be done, and it"™s all downhill from there.

I love to find patterns and put things into little boxes in my head. This has probably aided me in creating a list which I believe reflects the top 5 excuses people use to sabotage their lives. Today, I"™m going to share it with you.

1. People Can"™t Really Change

If this is your starting point, you"™re in trouble. I believe that many people sabotage their lives simply because they don"™t really believe they (or any other human being for that matter) can consciously change. They buy too much into that theory that a leopard cannot change its spots.

Of course, I think that although there are limits to how much and how fast we can change, the rest is complete nonsense. The fact that some people don"™t really change past the age of 15 doesn"™t mean that people in general can"™t change. It rather means that many people don"™t really understand the psychology of change and don"™t know how to change effectively.

2. My Situation Is Special

I for one find this excuse amusing. We are so arrogant to believe the rules that apply for every other person do not apply for us. When I present a client a tried and tested method to communicate better with others, they will often object that it may work for others, but it won"™t work for them.

I"™ll state it plain and simple here: you are not special! If something works for 99% of the people who"™ve applied it, it"™s highly probable it will work for you as well. Let your guard down and try it before you declare that it doesn"™t apply in your context.

3. I Had a Bad Childhood

Something I can understand but I don"™t resonate with is how much emphasis people tend to put on their past, ending up believing that it"™s an unsurpassable obstacle. They often use a bad childhood as an excuse for having a crappy life and for not doing anything about it.

One of the most important discoveries in cognitive psychology is that even though many of our thinking, feeling and behavior patterns have been created in the past, sometimes in our childhood, they have a life of their own in the here and now. It is in the here and now that we can act upon them and we can influence them.

4. I"™m Too Old/ Too Young

There"™s a whole range of excuses we use related to sex, race, nationality and age. The ones related to age, I find to be the most devious.

I used to think that my young age was preventing people from trusting me as a coach and thus, preventing me from getting more clients. Luckily for me, I soon realized that although some people did have a bias against young coaches, it was mostly in my head. So, as soon as I stopped treating my young age as a drawback, so did other people.

There are certainly age prejudices, and your age can present a challenge. However, keep in mind that age is a surmountable obstacle and we can maneuver around it. This is why, in my view, it provides a really superficial excuse for not doing or not getting something.

5. I Will Start Tomorrow

Sure! And following that same logic, tomorrow you will see no reason why you can"™t say the exact same thing. After all, what"™s a day plus or minus, right? Do this long enough and you eventually realize that you"™ve postponed things so much they don"™t seem worth doing anymore.

One client I had managed to postpone changing her lifestyle habits and loosing some weight until one day, she realized that she was in her 40s, and her weight didn"™t matter to her that much anymore. No problem with that, except she had spent more than two decades feeling sorry for herself because she was plump.

Take a deep breath and take a good look at the five excuses above. Have you been using any of them lately? Can you see how they sabotage you way more than they support you?

Living an extraordinary life, having an extraordinary career or extraordinary relationships, these things do not happen by making excuses. They happen by accepting that what it is is what it is, asking yourself how you can take it to the next level, and then acting on the answer.'

Articolul ii apartine lui Eduard Ezeanu si este luat de pe blog-ul lui. Mie prea lene sa-l traduc, asa ca sper ca intelegeti limba engleza. Sunt niste idei generale, pe care probabil le-ati mai auzit.

Pentru cine vrea sa mai rasfoiasca blogul lui, acesta este link-ul:

http://www.artofconfidence.com/

In incheiere, mai adaug doar ca totul este in mintea noastra si perceptia noastra asupra lucrurilor ne influenteaza mai mult decat lucrurile insele.

@ The_eye - Internetul este plin de astfel de informatii. Ce e special la baiatul asta pe care ni-l prezinti tu aici? Au aparut de nicaieri odata cu internetul asta ca ciupercile de dupa ploaie tot felul de guru care sa iti garanteze o viata mai buna in schimbul unor banuti.

@Daniel D.

Pai, Eduard Ezeanu colaboreaza cu ejobs. :P Si informatiile de pe blogul lui nu costa nici un banut. Eu, de exemplu, nu citesc prea des astfel de informatii. Ma gandesc ca or avea si ele utilitatea lor, sa-ti reaminteasca unele lucruri din cand in cand.

Am fost curios si eu sa aflu ce e ala "Juramantul lui Hipocrate".Am citit si mi-am dat seama ca stiu un anumit doctor care nu prea respecta acest juramant, ma refer la partea cu intretinutul de relatii intime cu bolnavii. Ce parere ai despre asta ?

Pai... ca s-o spun p-aia dreapta, nu prea am nici o parere. Treaba lui... adica adevarul este ca trebuie sa iei tot ce se poate de la viata, ca dupa ce mori nu o sa mai ai ocazia. :P

Asta in teorie... in practica, trebuie sa aplicam ce spune Eduard Ezeanu asta... marele erudit.

Nu mi-ai raspuns la intrebare... iar intrebarea a aparut din nou - De ce nu te cuplezi cu Grim Reaper ? E un baiat bun si finut... chiar daca aparentele inseala !

Mai... Cupidon! :))))

Daca tot iti place asa de mult de el, de ce nu te cuplezi tu cu el? V-ati potrivi!

Pff... eu incerc sa va fac un bine... viata asta e scurta bre. O sa va uitati inapoi peste 40 de ani si o sa va spune-ti : Ce fraieri am fost ca nu ne-am pus-o de cateva zeci de ori. Sa nu va para rau. Cine o sa te felicite cand vei veni cu 10 de la facultate? Cine o sa te consoleze cand vei veni cu 4 ? Intelegi ce vreau sa spun? Aveti nevoie unul de altul. Ai vazut filmul - 'Buletin de Bucuresti'? Nici el n-are asa ceva !! Intelegi aluzia?

@Daniel D.

Te rog frumos sa incetezi cu aluziile astea!

Bine The Eye... imi cer scuze. Am zis ca fac si eu un bine cuiva.

Oricum nici nu vroiam. Mie imi plac fetele cu sanii mari.

Bai nesimtitule bai. Nu stiai ca nu conteaza cat de mari sunt sanii la o femeie. Din cauza voastra isi pun femeile silicoane si indura atatea. Daca pe The_eye nu a blagoslovit-o Dumnezeu cu niste sani mari ce importanta are? Spune si tu ? Daca ar veni si ea la tine si ti-ar spune - Nu-mi place de tine ca nu ai testiculele mari. Ce ai mai spune in cazul acesta?

@Daniel D.

Nici o problema. :)

@Lenutza B.

:)))) Multumesc frumos pentru interventie, dar este OK, nu m-a deranjat absolut deloc comentariul lui Grim Reaper, pentru ca... nu ma intereseaza. Presupun ca i-a aratat cineva pagina mea de Facebook si mi-a vazut poza acolo. Este adevarat, sanii mei sunt mici, dar mie imi par a fi suficienti. Eu una nu am o problema cu ei. Oricum, barbatii sunt si ei liberi sa aiba gusturile lor personale. :) Desi, sincer, exista multe persoane interesante pe lumea astea, diferite unele de altele, incat mi se pare absurd sa zici: "Mie imi plac numai barbatii care sunt in acest fel." sau "Mie imi plac doar femeile care arata asa". Notiunea de atractivitate este destul de complexa. Dar este doar parerea mea proprie!

' Din cauza voastra isi pun femeile silicoane si indura atatea.'

- Nu-mi plac nici cu silicoane. Mai bine prefer sanii mici si naturali decat mari si cu silicoane. Dar cel mai mult si mai mult imi plac cei mari 100% naturali :)

Cica femeile cu sanii mici sint pe cale de disparitie pentru ca toti barbatii le aleg pe cele cu sanii mari. Asa a lasat natura, sanii mari sint o dovada de fertilitate.

In primul rand motivatia trebuie sa vina de la sine ca la orice om, din moment ce ajungem sa ne intrebam cum ne motivam, suntem defecti din start. Nici unul din jurul meu nu a stat sa se intrebe asta, a simtit de la sine totul si atat.
Si culmea, astora care le vine de la sine le merge cel mai bine, celorlalti nu vor sta decat sa analizeze de ce de ce si tot asa raman pana ajung pe lumea cealalta.

Daniel.D ai blocat mesageria sa nu-ti mai poata da cineva mesaj.
Deci esti iara rautacios si nesimtitor adica al dracului ce sa mai incoace si in colo.
Tin sa-ti spun doar doua lucruri, mintea ma duce sau nu ma duce, macar eu stiu sa ma port, iar in al doilea rand si daca-s prieten cu Clara ce ? Asta e, ghinionul tau, si cu asta basta, nu mai am ce discuta cu tine.
Partea cu mancatul era problema mea medicala care ducea la autodistrugere, de aia am zis de asta, se numeste mancat compulsiv (compulsive eating) care vine pe anxietate si depresie de fapt, este in litaratura de specialitate insa tu nu stii.

Daniel, esti belea :)))